Happiness and Simplicity

Editor’s note: This is a guest post by Louie Clearheart of The Love That I Am

Many of us have heard the saying, “live simply, simply live.” This is a key to happiness. It is when we make things too complex, or entertain too much drama in our lives (or more frequently our thoughts), that pain comes, suffering comes, and unhappiness comes.

Surprisingly, many of us are addicted to drama. We identify with it: all of the thoughts around excuses, reasons, judgments and justifications, or the endless “what if…?” scenarios we may play in our minds. Without all that, “who would we be?” we think.

Actually, a better question is, “what would we be?”

And the answer?

Happy.

In Defense of Harry Potter – The Tao of Self Analysis

Throughout the largest portion of my adult life, I have maintained what can best be described as an air of pseudo-intellectualism. My view of the world can sometimes be characterized by elitist attitudes towards films, books and entire groups of people. I have set myself on a pedestal which has in fact prevented any real growth from occurring within me. One way this attitude manifested itself was through my utter distaste and contempt for the Harry Potter series. I had come to associate Harry Potter with popular culture and had imposed upon that popular culture a value judgement of inferiority. Quite simply, I considered the books beneath me; inherently inferior because of their popularity. I had not read them, disregarding completely the old warning against judging a book by its cover.

This idea of popular culture being inferior is not new to cultural studies. There are many definitions of popular culture itself, but one way it can be defined would be to come to the conclusion that popular culture is all that is left after high culture is removed. The exclusivity and elite nature of this high culture means that the remnants are condemned to the ‘lesser’ category of popular culture. Practices, people, art, texts, and film (and any number of other things) which do not meet the strict standards required will fall into this category, rendering them by definition inferior. The trick about all of this is that all of the criteria involved are merely value judgements which support distinctions in social and economic class as well as an essentially myth-based concept of quality. The problem comes with the additional definitions of popular culture. Obviously one definition is that it is popular. Things which fall under the category of popular culture tend to be favored or regarded by many people. The simple fact is that the popular outnumbers the high by far, and the only barrier to the popular being legitimized is in fact the small minority which is attached to the interests of high culture.

Why I ended up associating myself with high culture, I do not know. An inflated ego, a need to feel that my opinions were more important than those of others – the truth is that it doesn’t really matter. What does matter is that as a result of my interest in Taoism, my ideas began to shift. Through a process of self reflection, I realized how out of control my ego was. While I’m always going to have opinions and I’m always going to value some things over others, I realized how silly it sounds to judge something without really knowing anything about it. I can hear a song and dislike it, but I can’t honestly judge an entire work of fiction by a news clip or a movie trailer. I decided to give Harry Potter a chance.

First of all, the Harry Potter series is obviously intended for an audience of kids, so it is important to bear that in mind when reading it. I tried to think about it in the same way I would have been thinking about the Chronicles of Narnia series as I read it during my childhood. It is also important to think about the film franchise in this way as well. If there has been a huge Hollywood film for every Narnia book as a grew up, there is no doubt in my mind that my heart would have ached to see them. I don’t think that anything which gets kids reading can possibly be a bad thing. How could I think that, when the Narnia books gave me so much joy and eventually lead me down a path to become an aspiring writer?

Since my childhood, I have ready more fantasy novels than most people I know. While this could be considered good or bad by any number of people, it also leaves me in a position to understand the genre, at least to a certain extent. The Harry Potter series is neither the worst or the best I have read. The characters aren’t always extremely well fleshed out, but the use of setting is very good and the plot in the last couple of books is tied up in a very sophisticated way. I enjoyed the series, and isn’t that what matters? Rather than thinking so much about what other people will think of us, whether or not something is up to specific standards and all manners of in-depth analysis, shouldn’t we just live each moment for its individual and unique joy? When approached this way, as a child would approach them, these books have value. Whether that value is above or below you is up to you, but ‘good’ and ‘bad’ are ultimately a projection of the self. Taoism is concerned with the natural balance of things. In the creation of a concept of beauty, one creates the concept of ugliness by its lack, and vice versa. So does this apply to the idea of good and bad in the ordinary things of the world. It is an invention, a product of our own minds. There is no good. There is no bad. There only IS.

Life is like Spaghetti

I love spaghetti, but it can be a complicated process to make it. It’s similar to life in that way.

1. There are multiple ingredients, and these ingredients must be balanced in order for the best taste.

Like making spaghetti, life is all about making the ingredients work with one another and to achieve balance. If your life is too heavy on work, you’ll burn out. You need a social life, a sense of meaning in your daily life, perhaps some sort of spirituality, etc. You need your emotional and mental well being in order for your life to be balanced and for you to be a whole person. To top it off, without your physical health, you aren’t going to be around long enough to be able to enjoy the life you’ve created for yourself. Missing out one ingredient can mess up the whole recipe, fouling the taste of the finished dish. Seek to create a balance between your life’s ingredients, recognizing your own deficiencies and taking small sensible steps to remedy the situation.

2. Timing is essential, if you overcook or undercook anything, it ruins the whole dish

Sometimes things don’t work out the way we want them to when we want them to. Life is just like that. If we force things too much, we risk making ourselves and others unhappy just as burned garlic will ruin your sauce. And let’s face it – what is spaghetti without a good sauce? Learning to let things flow until the time is right is absolutely essential. Just like watching all of the ingredients cooking is essential, so is knowing what is going on around us in our lives. If you ignore an issue expecting it to take care of itself, you may very well end up regretting it. This also ties in with our ingredients. If we’re always rushing around worrying about what comes next, maybe we forget to do things necessary to our balance. If you don’t add salt and oil to the water, the spaghetti ends up bland and sticking together, does it not?Intelligently applied action is the key here. It should require minimal effort because you’re neither trying to push things through early or shove them in too late. This is similar to the Taoist concept of wu wei, with its emphasis on effortless, struggle-free action. Like water you should flow, perhaps in this case the water which boils the spaghetti. Just keep one eye on all of your cooking pots and the other on your current task, moving forward one step at a time.

3. In the end, it’s all in the eating.

Once the dish is cooked and on your plate, it ceases to be about the trouble you’ve gone through to get there. If our minds are full of the nonsense of action, worry and business, how can we truly enjoy our spaghetti? This is the same in the case of our lives. What is the use of working so hard if we can’t enjoy the things we’ve earned? What is the point of providing for a family we never see? Again this goes back to balance. When you’re at home, be at home. When you’re at work, be at work. Each moment is a single piece of perfection, ephemeral and there for the seizing. Be there to experience rather than shut away in your own head. When you take a bite of spaghetti, make sure you taste it.

How to Discover Your Life’s Purpose – 7 Questions to Ask

Editor’s note: This article was originally published at Dumb Little Man. It has been reposted here with the permission of the author.

“Everything created solves a problem.” – Mike Murdock

Your eyes see, your ears hear, your nose smells. Doctors solve medical problems, lawyers solve legal problems. Your shirt keeps you warm; your watch tells you the time. Everything created solves a problem.

I believe you were created to solve a problem and your success is dependent on your ability to discover that problem and solve it. Finding this problem is discovering your purpose, solving this problem is accomplishing your purpose.

Today I want to discuss 7 questions that will help you discover your purpose.

7 Questions to Help You Discover Your Purpose:

What do you love to do?
Your purpose is directly related to what you love. The most purposeful people in the world spend their time doing what they love. Bill Gates loves computers, Oprah loves helping, and Edison loved to invent. What do you love? Is it reading, writing, playing sports, singing, painting, business, selling, talking, listening, cooking, fixing broken things. Whatever you love, it’s directly related to your purpose.

What do you do in your free time?
Whatever you do in your free time is a sign of your purpose. If you like to paint in your free time, then that’s a “sign.” If you like to cook, then that’s a sign, if you like to talk, then that’s a sign. Follow the signs.

I love to learn in my free time, I have an obsession with learning. Of course, this is a sign of my purpose …which is to teach.

What do you do in your free time? What would you like to do if you had more free time? Would you teach dance a class or a business course?

What do you notice?
A salesman notices an uninspiring sales pitch, a hairdresser notices someone’s hair is out of place, a designer notices a awkward outfit, a mechanic hears something wrong with your car, a singer notices when someone’s voice is out of pitch, a speaker notices an uninspiring speech.

What do you notice? What annoys you?

I notice when information is not presented in a clear, practical, and simplistic form. This is a sign of my purpose. I’m obsessed with practicality and simplicity. When I teach, I try to teach in a very practical and simple way.

What do you love to learn about?
What kinds of books or magazines do you like to read? Do you read about cooking, business, or fishing, whatever it is, it’s a sign. I’m always reading about self development, particularly as it relates to successful living. Of course this is also related to my purpose, which is to teach people how to succeed.

What do you love to learn about? If you have a library, what books do you have in that library?

What sparks your creativity?
Is it painting, designing, building, speaking, or selling?

Writing sparks my creativity. I often feel like a sculptor or painter when I write. I carefully sculpt ideas on paper, ideas that impacts people’s lives; it’s a very creative process. Each word must be crafted for maximum impact.

What sparks your creativity, do you have ideas for new food recipes, or a new creative automotive Web site?

What do people compliment you on?

What “fans” do you have? If no one likes your cooking, then you probably won’t make a good chef.

Do people compliment your writing, or your singing, or your amazing ability to sell? Once again, this is a sign of your purpose.

People always compliment me on my speaking ability, something I was too frightened to do for most of my life. I find it intriguing that my purpose was hidden in something that I was frightened to do.

What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?

Would you start a salon, go on American Idol, start your own business? What would you do if success was guaranteed? It’s a sign to your purpose.

I’d do what I’m doing right now, which is teaching. Nothing is more important to me, what about you?

In Closing

These questions are signs to your purpose. They’re pointing you in the direction of a specific purpose. One question alone doesn’t tell the whole story; you must look at all of your answers collectively. Each answer is a piece of the “purpose” puzzle.

Study these questions, and your answers, and you will be well on your way to discovering your purpose. Thank you for reading!

Written on 11/30/2009 by Mr. Self Development who is a motivational author that offers a practical guide to success and wealth; support him by visiting his blog at mrselfdevelopment.com.

The power of two

People talk a lot about the power of one person to create change. This is definitely true in many situations, but the real power of one is in the inspiration of the many. What I’d like to talk about today is the power of two in changing one life. Well, strike that and make it a possible two lives. Let me explain.

When one person sets out to do something difficult, that person often falls quite early, failing his or her challenges and not achieving the goals he/she set out to achieve. For example, if I were to decide to get in shape on my own as I have many times, chances are I’d fail because I’d just be following the same pattern I always have and eventually I’d be tempted to give up, eat wrong, be lazy, etc. The power of two is the person with whom you choose to partner to achieve your goals. In fitness, this is quite common, I’d say. People often have gym partners, running partners, etc. My partner in running is now my wife, Steph. When one of us doesn’t really feel like going for a run, the other person can Steph in and exert a little positive pressure where it is needed. For me, this is very important because I find that I can get pretty lazy and it really helps to have someone else in the same situation, going through the same things and trying to achieve the same goals. It means I’m not alone and that if I fail myself, I’m also failing someone else. It adds that little bit of guilt to quitting which I don’t want to experience so I simply don’t.

So we know that two people can work well together to achieve fitness, but what about working together in other ways? People work in teams in their careers or jobs, they work together in marriages and as parents, and they often work together on projects which they enjoy. One example I have in my personal life is the HandRooster webcomic. My skills are primarily in writing and thinking up ideas, not drawing. When we started HandRooster Steph did the drawing (once in a while she’d write a comic as well) and I did the writing and it worked for a while but she really had a much greater workload than I did. Because of that, she ended up giving up on it and I had to go it alone. This was difficult for me because as I said, my skills are in writing and thinking, not drawing. I tried my best to come up with different ways of doing things. It worked to some extent but I could never quite do the excellent job she did. Her skills in drawing are better and it just wasn’t natural for me. She saw me struggling with the comic the other day and ended up volunteering to work on it again. We’ve done a few now and we’re doing them in a way which I hope is more sustainable for her. She draws them on paper and I scan them in, clean them up, do any coloring which needs to be done and then I write my post and upload the comic. I think this is a more balanced approach and I hope it works in the long run. It just goes to show you that if you communicate as a team of two and divide your efforts and work things out, you can achieve results which just aren’t possible as a single person with a single set of skills. Simple, but true.

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